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When I fall in love, it will be forever.”

– Jane Austin

A youthful orange glow filled the room, and it felt like waking up when I was 16 or 17, when I was back in college. It’s that illuminating few seconds when you wake up and you haven’t registered what time space you’re in and your brain hasn’t begun to log in to all the stuff you have to do. There was something else about that immortal moment too. It’s hard to describe. But it felt like fierce bravery.

I finished the military scarf for my sweetheart Anthony. He used to be a decorated general in his past life. ❤ Just kidding, but he has what brilliant generals are said to posses, “coupe d’oeil” – which translated in French “power of glance” : the ability to to immediately see and make sense of the battlefield.

The perfect balance of love and war.

I don’t know where I’d be without him.



Because I’m still trying to learn how to crochet the perfect hoodie, I asked him if he’d like one added to his scarf. He really liked the idea; he is always wearing hoods and when he hunts he could wear it too.

The pattern wasn’t that easy, on account of the source. It was a Spanish pattern, and like my experience with the Dutch, I had to figure it out as I went. There was even an English video tutorial, and although the lady spoke good English, it was tricky. I like the pattern for this hood better than the cat hoodie by yarnutopia.


I know why that feeling washed over me that morning. It’s because my old bedroom used to be right next to a window. The sounds of birds in the morning has to be one of my favorite places to be. Right in the middle of the whistling birds. I became aware of this when I woke up again to the same feeling, where I was left alone without any thoughts in eternity.

It must be time for spring.

I feel like a bud about to bloom.

Me and Anthony got together when I was 17. We’ve known each other since the 8th grade. I fell in love with him the moment he walked in my science class, with curly hair like Jim Morrison, the most handsome smile, and a skateboard.

Anthony has been wearing the camo hood every day since I’ve finished it. It lays perfectly on his back when it’s not on his head and with yarn i didn’t fasten off, he had tied it like a button so it secured under his chin. I’m thinking of how to attach the scarf and where exactly. Measurements. I may make the hood detachable and add some stash pockets to the scarf. ❤

We’ve been together for 7 years. I’ve changed so much. I’m older in the face, I can tell, looking at facebook pictures of myself from 2010. Now, 6 years later, I’ve still got red hair. It’s taken a long time to grow out. I am a splitting image of my mother, so i know exactly what I’ll look like. Like my mom, only with hooked pillows and many needle projects. And suddenly I felt like I was taking a long hard look at myself, and couldn’t believe that Anthony still wants to be with me. That he still loves my body as it grows. I’m so happy that he’s been with me through everything, because I still don’t have much. I’m not the person I thought I was, 7 years ago. But he says he is happy, that he loves our little home, that we have a nice place to sleep and good jobs, that we have money. He still loves me. And I’ve never loved him more, I’ll never forget all the times we spent together, or how passionate our love has always been. It’s not always been roses, but that’s what I’m saying. How lucky am I to have Anthony even without any roses?

“I want to rest in your light.” With sounds like Queen, this easily became our song. Just oozing with love right now for my best friend and soulmate.