I have not posted a goal post yet! *GASP* Especially since I am OCD about planning every little detail and managing my productivity. (I felt I couldn’t start this year until my dragon wall calendar came in!!! Which took long enough.) You may want to revisit this post about BUDGETING that I wrote last year, it’s served me well. I also want to let you guys know what ideas I have for this blog, if you haven’t noticed I’ve started including some of my fandoms here. And what better night than tonight, the start of Aquarius and a New Moon. I think I’ve finally put to rest a lot of self-doubt and set in motion some things I want to cultivate this year. I’ve got everything I need to make the next 365 days magical.
Weight Gain & Eating Disorder Recovery
I have a confession: I weigh less than 88 pounds and I am 25 years old, 5 feet 3. Doctor Chester, who I last saw a few months back, pointed to my chipped nailpolish and bony ankles and asked in an incredulous voice “Are you anorexic?” I have always been skinny and I wasn’t a doctor, I told him. The truth was in plain sight, under the sterilizing hospital lights that I was unhealthily so. My goal is to gain 10 pounds by March. I’m looking for food blogs to follow on WordPress and Instagram! Hook me up!
I’d also like to take the time to style my curly hair – I’ve even had dreams of myself with it shorter, more edgier. (I can’t help but think with curly red hair cut short I could go for that 1930’s vintage look.) I also want to spoil myself every month as part of a routine to treat myself with more love – getting flowers for the room, for example, or perfumes. I’d like to wear more casual make up and whiten my teeth. I’ve always been shy to smile and that robs me from feeling laughter and joy to the fullest.
Practice Yoga & Barre
Exercise is beneficial for those suffering with depression. Yoga is gentle yet still challenging and corrects posture. Barre is graceful, corrects posture, and nothing is wrong with wanting to evoke that feeling that you are as beautiful as a ballerina. I’m prepared to purchase books on yoga and follow those on instagram that may have their own dance studio or even other adult ballerinas. I already follow a lot of yogis, and I’ve always practiced – not with a schedule, but in moments when I’m stressed out at work, at my desk, or before I go to bed or to help me feel more awake. Yoga is also a great way to listen to your body’s needs, and yoga always feels like a mini massage.
Decorate Studio and Etsy
I’d like to scale down and let go of things that have emotional weight. I’d really like to surround myself with things that I love. I want to decorate my office in a way that facilitates productivity and stimulates me creatively. I’ve got lots of space for activities! The window is large and gets directs sunlight, ideal for some succulents. I’ve become obsessed with the idea of overflowing my desk and couch with potpourri and amethysts spheres and rose quartz. Perfect for love month!
Read More Books and Write Again
I don’t know if it is the recent politics in America that have revived my appetite for reading – but I can’t sleep because I want to read. When I write, it is always to clarify my emotions and describe my observations. My dreams to write were shattered, despite my professors in college telling me I was exceptional. You could tell I was depressed by my thousand eye stare. I want to read more – I tried to read a book a week in Januaray, but I only managed two books: a book of Jim Morrison poetry and Harry Potter #1. (I read current events every day.)
Music & Art Every Day
Drawing, or putting an image on paper is really therapeutic for me, and it gets me off the computer. You can’t force art, and I’ve been eyeing some how to draw manga books. I also have this fetish for watching Instagram videos where it is a close up of acrylic painting, adding details, in the middle of the process. I don’t know when I can find the time to doodle, but I definitely would love to spend an hour listening to music in my own art class.
Also need to save funds for a trip to Florida. I must go.
I’ll also be staying off Facebook, hopefully my mood will be noticeably better!